Free Money

Stimulus Checks

The Republicans and Democrats are locked in a heated debate over stimulus payments. They are not discussing whether or not most Americans should get one, they simply disagree with how much we should get. Stimulus checks are an attempt by both parties to buy your vote.

The Republicans are between a rock and a hard place. They have riled against the budget deficit and preached a doctrine of fiscal responsibility for a long time now. They need to walk an impossible line between buying votes and the appearance of casting our tax dollars into the wind. The Democrats are under no such restraints. They seem to view government as a conveyor of public money from one group to another. So, it should come as no surprise when they want to set the payments high enough to deflect maximum votes their way. Who would you be more inclined to vote for, the party who gives you half a barrel of money and claims to be fiscally prudent, or the party who says we will take money from someone else and give you a full barrel?

For most of us, this will be our third stimulus payment. The first one was either an actual check or a direct deposit depending on how you chose to receive your last income tax refund. Mine was directly deposited into my wife’s checking account, so my stimulus money followed along obediently. I wanted mine in cash, so I could see and touch it. Thus, I headed to my bank only to discover the bank’s doors closed to face-to-face business. After several phone calls, I was directed to an ATM which spit out a stack of fifty-dollar bills. President Grant’s picture was on all of them. I think that was a final jeopardy question. I took all of Grant’s pictures home and hid them in my top dresser drawer. Several months later, the six o’clock news told me the second check had been sent out. They even showed pictures of government checks being readied for mail, so I was watching my bank statements as well as my incoming mail. I almost missed it. My wife was sorting mail and came across a prepaid VISA card with both our names on it. There were two pieces of paper included in envelope. One looked like it was from the government, while the other outlined the charge for various VISA transactions. Not knowing what else to do, I took it to the local hardware store and asked the clerk, who knows how to unclog a sink, what it was. He verified it was my stimulus payment. I am still trying to understand how it can be cheaper to open a VISA account and send a card to every American taxpayer, than it is to mail a check. The fine print on the paperwork told me to call the number provided to activate the card then go to an on-line app to access my money. The online robot put me into a continuous loop, so I continued down the instructions and found a different phone number in the very fine print. A different robot put me on hold for forty minutes; I think they do that to see if you are serious. Then, behold!, a nice lady came on the phone and helped me transfer the money from the card into my wife’s checking account. Another example of government efficiency that cost me half a day. I will wait for the new payout before I convert it all to cash and add it to the stack of Grant’s pictures in my top dresser drawer.

I don’t need the money. I am getting by just fine on my pension and a little income from my 401K. Retirees, prisoners, and those who work for the government have seen very little financial hardships during the pandemic. The same is true of those who provide essential services such as grocery stores, pot shops and abortion clinics. The rest of America need jobs. The small businessmen who run restaurants and hire staff are hurting. Our entertainment industry is out of work. They won’t care about a $15 minimum wage until they have a job. Congress, however, has decided I get my free money. It makes them look like they care. Congressional pay is unaffected by the virus.

Frank Watson is a retired Air Force Colonel and long-time resident of Eastern Washington. He has been a free-lance columnist for over 20 years.